Mother and Son Sports

Much has been made of the Rutgers controversy over the last six months, where former Coach Mike Rice was fired for making homophobic slurs and physically abusing his players. Rutgers is now back in the spotlight again. New Athletic Director Julie Hermann is the one taking the heat this time as some of her past behavior during her head coaching stint for Tennessee Volleyball is being questioned.  Many people, including parents and student athletes alike are beginning to question why many coaches feel it’s ok to use verbal abuse, scare tactics, and what can only be seen as psychological warfare to “get the most” out of their players. Think it doesn’t happen that often, go ahead and read A Season On The Brink, I am here to tell you that it happens. Maybe not to the Rutgers extreme, but it does happen. Five to ten years ago many of these coaching issues were looked over with people saying, that’s how he/she motivates, it will make my kid stronger, or worse people being in fear of speaking up. This was and most likely still holds true especially if the coach is a winning coach. So the question is does the end justify the means? Do wins justify verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. How far is too far, and as a society can we get to a happy medium in terms of motivating players?

In regards to the above questions I can only speak from personal opinion and I am here to tell you that getting berated and screamed at stinks. It did nothing for my confidence. I didn’t learn anything and in some cases I feel it made be bitter and resentful towards a game that I once loved. On the flip side, I do believe that getting yelled at did actually make some of my teammates perform better. The older I got and the more I read about coaches such as Coach John Wooden and Coach Tony Dungy the more I wondered, is there a better way to approach players? Does yelling and screaming really work, or is it just the easy out? Dungy stresses that “coaches are essentially teachers who put faith and family ahead of football and do not belittle their players or scream at them.” “Coaches remain calm when things go badly, they guide instead of goad.” Both Dungy and Wooden have proven that their alternative methods produce the end result of winning. They prefer to guide and teach instead of berate, and yell.

As coaches, parents and a society as a whole I think we can and need to do better. We need to evolve. I am not suggesting that we go to extremes where there is no yelling, no criticism, and no respect. What I am suggesting is that we learn from coaches like a Tony Dungy that have proven you can motivate your players without throwing a ball at their head.  We also need to keep in mind that all coaches are human, and humans make mistakes. One slip of the tongue, or grabbing a player by the arm should not result in immediate firing. We need to keep our heads about us and look at each individual situation, investigate, and move forward – Evolve. The end can still justify the means, the means just need to be different.